Ara will be in the 9th grade next year. It is so weird to think about. I remember when I was a stay at home mother, and I would take her to preschool everyday, and volunteer, in her classroom. She loved it. Her first day of Kindergarten, she was so scared. She was used to having me with her all day. At that point, she had never experienced daycare, or anything like that. I remember telling her that I would be right back. She looked at me and said, "Mommy please don't leave me here." I was so sad to leave her. That same day (1st day remember) I got a call from the school. They told me that Ara had an "accident." They told me that she went to the bathroom, and in a hurry to get her pants off, plus throw cheerios in the toilet, she wet her pants. The teacher had explained how the boys, needed to put a few cheerios in the toilet, aim, and pee. Well Ara thought she too, had to put them in the toilet. I went to the school, and found her in the office, embarrassed and scared. That same year, I bought her a headband with kitty ears attached. Ara loved cats. She thought she was a cat. She wanted to eat cat food, and even tried to convince me to buy a litter box for her. I got the cat ears, because I thought it would be fun for her to wear them, for dress up play. She fell in love with the kitty eared headband. She wore them every single day, until the end of her 5th grade year. It even got to the point, where she wore a tail attached to the back of her pants. She took school pictures with the ears, and ended up with quite the collection. Seeing Ara's individuality at such a young age, was amazing. I have always encouraged her to express herself, even if it means being different than her peers, or going against the grain.
I am always telling Ara that she is my hero. She laughs whenever I tell her this, and tells me I am funny. I told her that I know how hard it is to stick to what you believe in, especially when everyone around you is doing things that are harmful to themselves. I told her that she is very strong, for not giving in to this peer pressure. The worrying, never ends, when you are a parent. The worries become different, the older and more different you child gets. Ara tells me stories about kids she goes to school with that smoke, drink, have sex. Its not like I don't know that is going on, but I trust Ara, and I trust her to make the best decision possible. She told me the other day that one of her teachers asked the classroom to raise their hand, if their mother was less 16, or younger, when they had them. Ara told me she was the only one to raise her hand. She told me that everyone looked at her, and she felt like she stood out for hours and hours. She started asking me questions about all of that. I know Ara is no fool, so I was as truthful as I could be, without being to detailed...I told her about being very young, when I met her dad. I was 14, when I met him. I told her how I never listened to my "gut" feelings, and ignored any red flags. I always struggled with making the right choices. I never talked to my mother about anything, and even if I thought about talking to her, I was honestly to scared to. I told Ara that I never, ever want her to feel that way. I can only hope that she will continue to be open with me.
Ara and I have plans to go to The Sasquatch Festival. We've had the tickets for over a month, and we are real excited to see the "Yeah Yeah Yeahs." We will be driving to the concert together, and it will just be the two of us. We are both really looking forward to it. We will take and post a lot of pictures.
I am going to switch gears, a little bit, and tell you, that Mother's Day, was the best. Ara, Tolkien and Emma made me feel like the most important mother in the world. It was unbelievable. They were so sweet! They made me breakfast in bed, did all the chores around the house, watched what I wanted to watch on T.V. We even made it to the park. Emma gave me a plant, cake and beautiful card. We had so much fun, it would have been really great, if Jeremy could have been with us. I know that he would have liked nothing more, to be with us...We miss him so much, so much...
I will end this with a picture Ara drew..... She loves Eddie, from Iron Maiden.
