The "Big Apple" Trip.....

We are scheduled to leave today at 6am. We got up very early, to make sure we were to the airport on time. The night before, while packing, I told Jeremy that we needed to make sure we called the airport, just in case something went wrong with the flight. He assured me that nothing would happen. He said that "If" anything were to get delayed, it would be the flight leaving from Denver...not Spokane. Anyway, I woke up about 3:15am, and started getting ready. I could hear Jeremy downstairs, on hold (via speakerphone) with United Airlines. I knew something wasn't going right...but I didn't want to believe it. Jeremy came upstairs and peeked his head around the bathroom door. "Our flight has been cancelled," he said. I waited for him to say something like, "Just kidding!" but he didn't. He looked irritated. I finished getting ready, then the cab arrived at our house at 4am. We drove to the airport and there was already a large line of passengers forming in front of the United counter. Some people were able to get re booked the same day, to their destinations, while others had to wait till the next day. We were among the group that had to wait, till the next day to leave. We were pretty bummed. If we could have left on the day originally planned, we would of had an extra 2 days there. Apparently the flight we were supposed to leave on, never made it to Spokane. There was some mechanical issues. I think I took the news of being re booked harder than Jeremy did. I was moping around the house, and finally had to get out of the house. My mom and I met at Northtown mall, did some shopping, ate and talked. Hanging out with her, did help me feel better. Jeremy and I decided to treat ourselves to a nice dinner that night, as we had planned on doing that once we got to NYC anyway. We came back home, watched a movie, then went to bed, anxious for the next day......

Day 2: I woke up pretty early today, clearly excited to get this trip going! Jeremy and I were packed, ready to go! We called the taxi, to pick us up around 11am, and we were off. Getting the bags checked at the airport was a breeze. We tried getting reimbursed for all the extra cab fair we had to pay, due to the flight being cancelled. But since United is so lame, they didn't think that they should have to give us anything back, for the trip to and from, back to, the airport. On the bright side, our flight to NYC, from Denver was in 1st class. Jeremy told me that the seats in this section would be much nicer. We waited 2 hours to get on the flight from Spokane to Denver. I was a nervous wreck, as I DO NOT LIKE TO FLY.....at all! I chewed off all of my finger nails, and if Jeremy would have let me, I would have chewed his off too. It was time to board the flight, and we sat there for much longer than we were planned too. This extra wait time, was going to potentially make us late for our next flight....As we took off, I could feel myself getting more and more anxious. I almost started to cry, and knew that if I did end up crying, I'd have a full blown panic attack. I held Jeremy's hand and pretty much did that the entire flight. The flight had an episode of 30 rock playing, so that helped take my mind off of dying for 20 minutes or so. Then some random nature show came on, I listed to my ipod the rest of the flight. We got to Denver, and literally had to run to the next flight. Denver airport is on the larger side, so we took advantage of the moving sidewalk things, and ran on them....We arrived at the gate, very winded.

The upside of this flight...it was 1st class. It was much nicer and much roomier. The only thing that was annoying, was the lady sitting across from me. She could not take her damn eyes off of me. She was staring at my snow boots. It was getting quite uncomfortable, I finally stared back at her, and she looked up from my boots, and realized I was now watching her, she gave me a smile, and then went back to her laptop. The flight took off, and Jeremy leaned over to me and said, "As soon as that seat belt light goes off, I am going to the bathroom." He left, and I slid over, and sat in his seat. I wanted to sit window side, so that I could look at the lights of NYC. The flight was pretty uneventful. It was long, we were served tortellini for dinner. I had 4 glasses of wine, we watched 500 days of Summer, the same random nature show....and then I started to see the city of lights. It seemed to go on forever! Jeremy and I were so excited!! We got off the plane, and headed to the luggage terminal. The airport was nothing like I expected. It was kind of flashy. It actually was somewhat "Casino" like, but in a 70ish sort of way. We got to the luggage carousel and waited, waited and waited. Then it hit us....we had such a tight turn around between flights, there was no way that the luggage could have gotten on the plane to New York. There were a couple other people that were in the same boat, as us. We tried using the "Easy to Use Kiosk," to make a lost luggage claim, but it was more difficult than anything else. We ended up having to go speak with the customer service desk, and speak to live people. One of the representatives was nice and helpful, while the other was so stressed out, he was making everyone in there feel stupid. There was probably about 8 of us in this little office. Two French guys, a family of Italians, one guy from London, Jeremy and I, and another guy that butted his way in front of everyone, to make his claim. Everyone was talking at once, telling each other of their own stories of lost luggage. The grouchy worker said, "See Arthur, do you see why I had the door locked?? I told you we should only have one person at a time in here, do you see why now?!" Of course the grouchy worker's attitude made all of us feel bad for even being there in the first place. The guy from London piped in and said, "We're all tired, we just want our things." Grouchy worker said, "We had a blizzard sir, we are doing the best we can." The London guy said, "Yeah, well we have blizzards in London and we just get on with life. You're being a jerk, and your short temper isn't making any of us feel any better." At that point everyone started in with their own opinions...I looked at Jeremy and told him that I was going to wait somewhere else. He agreed and dealt with filing the claim, while I wait in the luggage carousal area. We got into NYC, mind you, at 12:30pm....by the time Jeremy was finished it was nearly 2am. We were told that our luggage would be on a flight to NYC, and be to us by 10am. Yea! We thought. We were supposed to have a shuttle take us from the airport to our hotel. We called to tell them we were ready to be picked up, and we were informed that they were "done" for the day. At that point, we were on a "losing" streak. We ended up having to hail a cab, and go that route. It was about a 20 minute ride to the hotel. Soon enough we were approaching the hotel. Tons and tons of lights....then Time Square. It was surreal. Unlike anything I have personally seen. We were plastered to the windows like little kids. We made it to the hotel. It was really nice. We stayed at the Westin New York Time Square. We literally had nothing in our carry on, the hotel hooked us up with all our bathroom needs, like toothbrushes and stuff. We stayed on the 12th floor and had huge windows that overlooked Time Square. The view was amazing. It was so busy down below. The hot dog vendors were out, large crowds were crossing the roads, and taxis were honking in all directions. It was a sight. We were pretty tired...so very tired. We finally called it a day.

Day 3: We woke up early, probably about 6:30am....let me rephrase that. I woke up early. I walked over to Starbucks, came back to the hotel, and told Jeremy to wake up. I wanted to start our day already! We were promised our luggage by 10am, it was 10:30, still not there. We didn't want to wait around for it, and figured we'd get started on the day. Since we had lost 2 days of our trip, we had to reorganize our itinerary...We decided that we would go to the wax museum first. It is called, Madame Tussuad's. We were a little bummed, since we didn't have our cameras with us yet. We decided that we couldn't go to the wax museum without a camera, so we went to Duane Reade's and got a disposable. (I still have to bring that camera to get developed!) The museum was packed, and there was a line that was pretty long. We had our NYC passes, so we got to skip that long line, head to the front and get our tickets. As with everything touristy in NYC...there are long lines and then lines to get on the elevator. The wax museum was pretty good. Jeremy had been to one in California, he said this one, in NYC, was much better. We took some pictures with various "stars." Hannah Montana, Jonas Brothers, for Emma. The Osbournes, Bob Marley, Jimi Hendrix and The Beatles for Ara and Tolkien. It was weird how lifelike some of these wax figures looked. While others didn't look a thing like who they were supposed to look like. It also had an odd smell in the museum. The Museum was very close to our hotel, so after that, we decided to go back to the hotel, and see if our luggage had arrived. It was still not there. We walked to the Manhattan Mall, which was really tiny. The valley mall, in Spokane, is much bigger! It was cold over in NYC, well like anywhere between 32 and 40 degrees. But the wind, was blowing on this particular day. Jeremy somehow thought that he would be okay on our vacation, with just his hoodie. WRONG! :) We ended up at JC Penny so that Jeremy could buy a coat. The JC Penny looks very fancy. It reminded me more of a Macy's. Anyway, after the Manhattan Mall, we walked over to Macy's. I was shocked. This is by far the biggest Macy's I have ever been too! I have heard that it is the world's largest, then I have heard other stories that it is the world's second largest. Regardless...it was huge. As you imagine, it was packed! There was so much to look at, and I could hardly absorb it all. Initially we didn't have a clue as to how many floor there were. We took the escalators all the way to the top. 9 floors later, we could not go up any farther. Not only was there 9 floors, but under the 1st floor was the basement area, called "The Cellar." This store also took up a full block. So you would start at one side of the store, and just when you thought it couldn't be any longer in length, you could see another entry way leading to more store. The shoe department....was amazing. I love shoes, so for me, it was almost too much to look at. I spent a good 2 hours browsing the shoes. Their shoe department is the same size as the entire 1st floor of the Macy's here, in Spokane. They have a few places to eat in this Macy's too. This is great for anyone that wants to spend the day shopping. I saw McDonald's, Starbucks, Annie's Pretzels, a pizza place too. Jeremy and I were tired from all our shopping around, so we made a stop on the 8th floor, and sat in the comfy couches that were on display. We actually saw a lot of people doing this same thing. We were getting hungry too, so we went to the first place we saw on the way home. TGI Fridays, yeah boring, but it was the only place that wasn't busy, and we wanted somewhere we could sit down. After dinner we went home. I did something really dumb. I put all my medication in the luggage that we checked in. Since we arrived in NYC nearly 24 hours before our luggage, I was way overdue for my medication. I was now really starting to feel the withdrawals. It sucked. I was getting extremely dizzy and getting nauseous. We went back to our hotel, and guess what? Our luggage was still not there. It was 6pm already, we called the airport to find out what the hold up was. They told that the luggage was in the city, and that it was going to be another few hours. They said it would be to us by 9. We explained to them that we needed the luggage expedited, as we left important medication in there, and we were starting to get sick. The airline said they would put the word in to the delivery person. Well 9:45pm came and went. At this point I couldn't even walk around. I was "bedridden" so to speak. Jeremy called the airline again and this time, he was told that it would be ANOTHER COUPLE OF HOURS before they could deliver it. He was upset, so was I, but he told them that he would come and get the luggage from the airport, if that is what he needed to do. We finally gave up on waiting...and decided to go to bed. It was almost 1am at this point. 30 minutes into sleeping, our phone rang, and it was the hotel, notifying us that our luggage was downstairs, and had just arrived. I was so annoyed with United, but I can take responsibility and blame for my part. I will never pack my meds in my checked baggage. I didn't realize that I could take them on my carry on. Lesson learned. We got the luggage, I took my meds, we went to bed.....

Day 4: We woke up very early and decided that we would look for some place to eat. We went to the front desk, and asked for directions to a diner type place. We ended up falling in love with a diner called The Westway. It was awesome. We ate hallah french toast. I love hallah. We figured we better eat well, so that we could walk for miles and miles. I can't believe how much we walked around. We decided to visit Bodies the Exhibition. I thought it was very interesting.....Jeremy on the other hand was not as fascinated with it. They have actual human specimens in this museum. I am very much interested in the human body, and how it works. It is so amazing. This museum was very detailed....to say the least. Jeremy rushed through the museum, while I stopped at every display, and stared in wonder. There are whole human bodies, along with individual organs. Each "system" is on display, via dissection and preservation. Really the only thing that shocked me was when I accidentally bumped into the glass case that housed the remains of a woman's vagina. It caught me off guard, and I didn't expect to see the vagina in such detail......

After the Bodies trip, we decided to take the subway, to Battery Park, and visit The Statue of Liberty, and Ellis Island. What an exciting trip to Battery Park. The subway.....I was scared, I will admit it. Jeremy was a little nervous about it too. I say this because he didn't want me taking the camera out and taking a bunch of pictures. I guess he too, assumed that I'd get robbed. We got out metro cards and while Jeremy was paying for the metro cards, I was watching to see how people were getting though the revolving doors to the subway. We went through the metal doors and found our way to the right loading area. As we waited for our subway, other subways were screaming by. The subways are dark, wet and filled with various type of people. I think we only had to wait about 15 minutes for our subway to get to us. When the subway came to a stop, we noticed that it was packed! Most people came out, but there were a lot of us waiting to get in. We were like some of the last ones to get in...therefore it was standing car only for us. I had some knitted gloves on, and holding onto the pole was kind of hard to do. When the subway took off, I lost my footing and almost fell. It was funny, but I felt kind of dumb at the same time. Once the subway let a few people off, we were able to sit down. I then took a couple pictures of Jeremy, on the subway. Also, at that point there were a few people that were also tourists. We arrived at Battery Park, and walked to the water. We snapped some more pictures, and you could see the Statue of Liberty in the background. Since we were near the water, it was much more windy and FREEZING! Brrrr! We got our tickets and waited in line, to get to the ferry. A lot of the main attractions in NYC require you to go through airport style security. When you are wearing several layers of clothes, its quite the trick trying to take everything off quickly and get it back on quickly. Once we got onto the ferry, we found a good spot to take pictures. The ride over to the Statue of Liberty was very nice. It was a really clear day. The views were amazing. We got to see the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge, which is the largest suspension bridge in the US. The views of the city, were also very breathtaking. So many buildings! As we got closer to the Ms. Liberty, both Jeremy and I stared in amazement. We could not believe we were actually staring at her, in real life. Its amazing. We took so many pictures of her. I was so glad that we went on a clear day. It was perfect!! After our trip to the statue, we traveled over to Ellis Island. We actually did not get off of the ferry. We did take pictures of Ellis, but we still had a lot of other places that we wanted to cover, and remember...we were cheated 2 days of our original trip. After our beautiful ferry ride, we decided to run around Battery Park, take some pictures and walk to Century 21 Department Store. I had heard all these great things about it, and I saw tons of people carrying bags around from the store. Well once we got there, it was nothing like I had expected at all. It was actually very stressful, and it was like a big Ross or TJ Max. Don't get me wrong, I love Ross and TJ Max, but I guess I didn't think Century 21 would be exactly like that. It was so packed, and there were clothes, and other random things all over the floor. It was insane!!! We tried to get past all the stress, but it just finally got to the point where we had to leave....So, I bought a few I love NYC cups, and we left.
Since we were in the area, we decided to go eat. We found a sandwich/soup place. Also, since we were in the area I looked up the Betsey Johnson store, and we walked over there to take a look. I thought that it was going to be closed, but it was not! Awwwhhhh, unfortunately for me I did not find anything that I wanted. I didn't want to get anything that I didn't feel strongly about. I didn't find a thing. Oh well, it was fun to look around. Jeremy, of course was bored out of his mind, but he was so gracious and waited patiently for me to look around.
After our trip to Betsey Johnson, we walked over to ground zero. We actually stayed near ground zero for about an hour. They are still working on the memorial. I just kept thinking of where I was standing. Thinking about how much devastation was in the same spot, that I was standing. I looked up in the sky, imagining the twin towers. I pictured those poor people, scared, confused, and even those that chose to jump out of the building. It was very surreal, for me at least. Just being there, spending time there, made me really appreciate life a whole lot more. Sometimes I forget just how lucky I am.

We were so far from our hotel. We thought about taking the subway back, but we actually walked most of the way back to our hotel. My feet were killing me, but I also wanted to absorb as much of New York as I could. As we walked back to our hotel we saw so many different stores. We saw so many little stores that were the size of a closet, seriously. These closet stores were filled floor to ceiling with electronics. Inside the middle of the closet was one person, the person that ran the "store." These were so tiny. Of course the streets were filled with the hot dog vendors, people willing to draw your picture, people selling purses, gloves, hats, scarves, gloves. And when it rains....people come out of nowhere selling umbrellas. There is always something going on, people moving here and there. At times we were part of the wall of people crossing roads, and times we were nearly swallowed up in these walls of people. It was unlike anything I have ever been a part of.

The next day we decided we were going to hit the Museum of Natural History and do the NBC behind the scences tour. It worked out best for us to hit NBC first. We were not allowed to take pictures here. It was "forbidden." We had to wait a little bit before the tour. We walked around the store. Jeremy got some stuff. When it was time to get in line for the tour, we noticed that our group was not very big at all. It was nice. Our tour guides were pretty nice too. The studio was cool. I kept my eyes peeled for anyone in the middle of taping, but we didn't see any of that. We toured Jimmy Fallon's studio, its so much smaller than I thought. They mic the audience, so that it sounds much larger than it actually is. We toured the Saturday Night Live studio, and it too is really small. We toured the stage where NBC news is filmed, and then they had a studio, which allowed us to interact with a camera and pretend we were a news anchor. It was a lot of fun. We learned a lot about the history of NBC.

After our NBC tour, we decided to go over the Museusm of Natural History. The museum is huge! There are so many things to look at. Honestly in the beginning we were interested in seeing everything...towards the end, we were like, "lets see the dinosaurs. We did take a lot of pictures at the museum. I think my favorite part was the dinosaurs, though. I've always wanted to see them, and I have always loved them. The sea creatures were also pretty cool. I did tell Jeremy that if we found butterflies, we'd have to take pictures for Ara. Ara hates butterflies. She does not think they are beautiful at all. We did find some, of course took photos, and of course Ara did not like them at all. We were in the museum for about 3 hours. It was a long day for us.
After the musuem we decided to go home. Jeremy went out and got pizza. We ate pizza in bed and ordered in room service. They brought in a lava cake for us. It was so delicious! It was really nice being in the hotel. We were so close to everything. I loved waking up in the mornings and walking to Starbucks to get my morning lattae. We'd walk to bakery and get muffins, cookies, yeah lots of bad stuff. Oh well we were on vacation and it was fun. Fun to eat bad....plus we didn't feel real guilty, because we were walking everywhere.

Eesh...before I forget, we did take a helicopter ride over the city. It was awesome! We had to wait a while before we got on the helicopter. We got the safety breifing. They let four of us on the helicopter. I got to sit up front, Jeremy sat in back with some other people. I thought that I was going to be really scared, but I wasn't. I was very excited. Seeing the city from above like that was so cool. I tried taking pictures, at that point we only had the disposable, and they didn't turn out....boo! Oh well. It was dusk out, so a lot of the lights were beginning to show. By the time we finished the tour, and were headed back to the landing pad, it was dark. All the lights, were so beautiful. I had a lot of fun on the helicopter tour. It was well worth it! We also visited Central Park, which is huge by the way. Enormous. I loved the park, and all its trails. The trees were all twisty and snow covered. It was not flat, it was sort of hilly and there are small bodies of water, randomly sprinked throughout the park. It was worth the visit.

Christmas Day: Ah Christmas in New York....what a dream, at least for me! We woke up and walked to our favorite diner, The Westway. We had a wonderful breakfast. We saved The Empire State Building and Top of the Rock, and Rockafeller Plaza for today. I can't remember if I mentioned that we got the New York Pass. When we got to the line, to pay, they told us that we had already used our passes to visit the Empire State Building. We were surprised. I mean, its not like we were trying to steal a visit to the Empire State Building. Luckily the guy took down our card numbers, and let us go anyway. We took the elevator to the observation deck. It was cold up there, so cold. The views were really breathtaking. I was scared of being up so high. Jeremy took many pictures that shot straight down. In fact looking at some of them make me queasy still. There were a lot of people up there that day. I guess we weren't the only ones that thought it would be cool to visit the Empire State Building. It was cool, and we got a lot of really good shots.

After we got down from the Empire State Building, we headed over to Top of the Rock. It was another 360 degree view. I liked this, because we were able to stare directly across at the Empire State Building. We had great views of Central Park too. I took this opportunity to take pictures of the city during dusk. It was my favorite time of day, because all the lights in the building start coming on. Also it was a bit foggy and misty which made for even cooler pictures. However, it was incredibley windy up there and we could hardley stand being that cold. We took pictures, then left.

We walked down to Rockafeller Plaza to check out the giant tree and the skating rink. I got right up next to the tree, well as close as they would allow. I actually thought this too, would be a lot taller. The skating rink too...wow, much smaller than I thought. It was like the size that we have here at home. Small, but amazing none the less. I kept saying to myself, "Wow you are really here, seeing this all in person, enjoy each moment to its fullest. I spent a good 45 mintues down by the tree watching people skate and have fun. There was a bit of snow falling from the sky, just as I always imagined it. I met up with Jeremy, and we ate our last meal of the trip.....hotdogs. It was so good. We were so cold and they hit the spot.

We walked back to the hotel, got changed and exchanged presents with one another. Jeremy got a bunch of Nebraska stuff. I got him a stocking, key ring, licence plate frame, banner and beanie cap. He also got a new lens for the camera. Jeremy got me a white fossil watch. Which I love. Its so white and clean looking. He also let me go shopping at Macy's by myself and spend money on clothes. It was so fun. I even hailed and rode in a cab all by myself!

We decided the best way to end the night, was to take a trip to Time Square. It was raining a lot, but we wanted to get pictures, so we didn't give up. We took a ton of pictures and walked to the M&M store, which was surprisingly open! Of course we had to go in. I got a pair of cool socks, naturally. We walked around and headed back to the hotel. I was sad that we had to pack and get ready for home....but we did.

The next morning we had to leave pretty early. We got to the airport a few hours ahead of schedule. I slept in the chairs, while Jeremy played with his Itouch. Getting home was an adventure all in itself. Oh, we missed many flights, had flight delays, stood in 2 hour lines. By the time we got home, we were exhausted.

Overall if you take out the frustration we had with the flights and luggage, we had a wonderful time. I would defintely go back in a heart beat. I wish we lived over there. I think about what I would be doing over there right now. We'd be in the park, walking the dogs, playing with the kids. Mind you, in my imagination we'd have money to live there, and do whatever we wanted....

It was a dream come true. I am so glad that my husband and I were able to make this trip. We waited so long for it to happen. I think about our trip all the time.....It was so wonderful.

I love NYC.

If you want to see our pictures, please follow the link below. You will have to sign in to see the pictures, sorry, Jeremy and I do care somewhat about the privacy of our pictures. Hope you enjoy!

http://picasaweb.google.com/mnqhoward/HoneyMoonInNewYorkCity?locked=true#

Home Sick

I am home sick, again, today. I just woke up from a nap and figured I better try staying up, so that I can sleep again tonight, when the rest of the house is asleep. I know that I will be buried, once I return to work...I am not looking forward to that part. I have a cough, had a fever this morning, stuffy nose, head and every time I swallow, I hear "snap, crackle, pop" in my ears. Jeremy is at work right now, but he will be bringing more Sudafed home tonight.





We celebrated "ThanksX-mas" last Wednesday. Jeremy and I were married in August of 2008. We didn't get to go on a Honeymoon, directly after the wedding. We have been saving money since Jan 2009. We have decided that we really want to go to New York City, this December. This will be a celebration of our marriage. It is our belated Honeymoon. We will be in NYC for Christmas, so that is the main reason why we decided to celebrate X-mas on Thanksgiving. We had all the kids with us, and had a nice Thanksgiving dinner. "Santa" wrote a letter to Emma and explained to her, that she must eat dinner first, then she can open gifts. The kids loved their gifts.





My mom surprised Jeremy and I with a really nice card, and she gave us some money to take with us, on our trip to NYC. I will be blogging about our plans and the trip to NYC, on my other blog.....http://moniquejeremy.blogspot.com/



Jeremy has been home now for about a month and a half. He is now back to work, and the house is starting to get back into its normal routine. The kids are getting used to Jeremy home, and I am watching this new relationship between Emma and Jeremy unfold. She loves, trusts and listens to him so well. She is eager to tell him about her day, and loves showing him new things that she has learned. He has been able to get her to open up, when she refuses to open up to me.



So, as you can imagine, we are pretty busy still. It does really help to have Jeremy, physically, here. He is more than helpful, and we are always working together, to make this run as smooth as they can, in our busy house!

Guaranteed to be very Random....

I haven't had time to do this, so before I put the kids to bed....I will update some. What a busy, intense, crazy few weeks this has been....



Last Friday, I ended up taking Ara to the ER. She was pretty sick beginning last Monday, and had symptoms like sore throat, cough and headache. I took her to the doctor, and they tested her for strep. That came out negative. I kept her home. She didn't get better. She missed a week of school. She is behind, and overwhelmed. She had trouble breathing and tightness in her chest. I called her PCP, and they said, based on her symptoms and the fact that she has asthma, take her to the ER. I decided to take her to Sacred Heart, its right by our house. We had a very long wait, but I am so impressed with the way the entire staff, treated Ara and I. Ara saw a few nurses, one ER doc, a Radiologist, Transportation Staff, and Admitting Reps. They all were so nice, and treated us like we were the most important people in the hospital! They did an amazing job. Ara was tested again for Swine Flu, which was negative. She was also given a chest x-ray, to look for pneumonia, which also came back negative. She had a nasty viral flu bug. I've never seen her so sick, I was so worried. I had the phone tree going, the text tree going and the email tree going (I love my blackberry!!) Ara is feeling better now, and back in school. She is getting caught up on homework too. Ara will be working at the temple on Wednesday nights. She will be helping teach a Hebrew class, and help tutor some of the younger kids. She is getting paid for this, and did I mention that Ara wants to go to Israel, for part of her Sophomore year???? She is working at the temple, and will be attending the Rabbi's Holocaust class on Thursday evenings. This participation in the class and tutoring will help her earn money, for the trip she wants to take to Israel. Through the temple, she can go live on a Kibbutz.....here is a basic description of a Kibbutz, obviously not my words. .....

"Kibbutz means group in Hebrew. It is a modest name for something unique: a voluntary democratic community where people live and work together on a non-competitive basis. Its aim is to generate an economically and socially independent society founded on principles of communal ownership of property, social justice, and equality."

In addition to working on a Kibbutz, she would go to school there. Clearly the rest of her parents and I, are scared at the thought of her going over there...We keep telling her that we haven't decided if we will actually allow her to go. She is still willing to work at the temple, go to Rabbi's class, and see what happens.


Tolkien is in his last year of Hebrew school. His Bar-Mitzvah is Feb. 22, 2010. He is so excited. He is still doing football this year too. He really enjoys it. His team is called, "The South Hill Soul" and all his "Soul Brothers" go to Chase. Its pretty cool. He loves the fact that he can walk down the hall at school, and see a team mate. They all get a kick out of it really. Lately, Tolkien has been OBSESSED with his hair. It is now below his shoulders. He spends a GREAT DEAL of his morning getting it all groomed and it has to "lay" just so. He is so possessive over it too.. He won't let anyone touch it. In fact, he worries about head lice, like you wouldn't believe! He knows I'll shave his head if that happens! They had to ride bikes at school the other day, and he didn't want to use the helmets that the school was providing. He said, "They offered us hair nets, but I don't trust that!" I wonder how long he will want it to grow. He still gets mistaken for a girl all the time. Last year he had a substitute at school. She was mean to all the boys and super nice to all the girls. The teacher thought Tolkien was a girl, and was calling him a "she" and "her" all day. He said he never corrected her, because she was being so nice to him. He said when she found out he was a boy, she was so mad and embarrassed.......

Emma. Emma. Emma.....she is a 1st grader now. She loves school, and it is wearing her OUT! She falls asleep on the way home, every day. Her teacher is so sweet and loving. Emma really enjoys her, and the new class. She has PE this year, and hates wearing her sport shoes to school. Emma is all about wearing dresses and skirts, and loves her dressy boots. She has been so helpful around the house. She is the type of girl that is always on the go, always busy, and always wants to be busy. I told myself that this year I was going to get her more involved around the house, she tends to be very emotional and grouchy when her time isn't structured. We go to the dollar store a lot and get arts and crafty kind of stuff. She helps me start and fold laundry, disinfects the house with antibacterial wipes (she even has her own house cleaning gloves she wears) feeds the animals, helps with dishes and helps make dinner, oh and helps make lunches. A lot of times it takes even longer to get through things, because she is still small and learning, but overall, she is more behaved, when she is involved with things.

I have been keeping myself busy, with the kids...I have joined the PTSG and band parents group, at Ara's high school. I helped chaperon the freshman activity night....and that was interesting! Wednesdays the kids go the Hebrew school (except Emma) Emma and I use that time to go to Hastings. We go to the kids section and read books, and play with the wooden train set. We will be renewing Emma's library card, and going to the library, while Ara and Tolk are at Hebrew. We are still making time to play Guitar Hero. The latest one has a "beginner" level, and so it just requires strumming. This is wonderful, and Emma is now able to play in the band, without getting mad. Yeah, the new Guitar Hero lets you play guitar, bass, drums and sing...like Rock Band. We've been really into this show on the Discover Channel called, "The Universe." The kids love it, and this always leads to a conversation about aliens...something Emma loves to talk about. We've been decorating for Halloween. Emma picked out this door knob cover that is a big, bloody veiny eyeball. She loves how gross it is. Ara and Tolkien hate it...lol...Emma loves Halloween just as much as I do, so we've enjoyed decorating, and have been making ghosts and scary pictures of our own! My B-day is Oct 10th. We will not be celebrating this year, on the 10th. We are going to instead, celebrate on the 31st, have a small Halloween party, and my family has agreed to dress up. We will be a family of vampires. We are making tombstones for the front yard. Ara wants to make one for Randy Rhodes (the guitarist for Ozzy Osbourne) and Tolkien wants to make one for Bon Scott (the former singer of AC/DC) Emma wants to make one for Michael Jackson.


One last note, before I close this....we just bought a puppy! He is a Shorkie. His name is Julian. (I got to pick out the name...he is named after singer Julian Casablancas from The Strokes) He is 8 weeks old, and so adorable! We are all so happy to have this new life in our family. We can't wait till Jeremy is home, to enjoy Julian too!

Dragging my feet....

I thought I'd write a little bit before I really start the day. I keep putting off, the laundry. I worked on cleaning my house yesterday, and my mother came over to help me. My back was hurting Friday and Saturday, so I needed that extra help. It was nice of my mom to come over and help...She does have a hard time understanding why I can never seem to put the clean laundry away. Growing up with my mom...she was (and still is) a clean FREAK! She asked me, "Why don't you just put the clothes away, after they are done in the dryer." I simply replied, "I don't know. Its just something I've never automatically done." After our morning of cleaning we made some artichoke dip (thanks to an awesome recipe I got from Melissa) and I took my mother up to "The Scoop" for some homemade ice cream. She loved it, I loved it too! I had the grape sorbet, it was delicious! We came home and I made my mother watch "The Devil Wears Prada," with me. She did end up liking the movie, its one of my favorites.

Its Sunday, I am hoping to get my room clean, and laundry put away. The kids, grandparents and I are going to "Fiddler on the Roof" tonight. I am looking forward to it, and oddly enough so are my kids. We are going to eat dinner downtown before hand. It should be a good evening.

The kids have officially been in school for over a week. When I say that its been busy around her, I mean its been INSANELY busy around here. I have been getting up at 4 in the morning, going into work for 2 hours, coming back home, getting the kids ready for school, taking on to the high school, one to the middle school and one to the elementary school, going back to work and working another 6 hours, then getting the high schooler, the elementary schooler, than my middle schooler....we come home and the kids help with some chores, while I make dinner, my son wolfs down his food and then I take him up to football practice, I drive back home, and make lunches for the kids the next day, start laundry, go pee, then go back up, get the boy from football, force him in the shower, and then we all get our clothes and backpacks ready for the next day. Sometimes there is an occasional PTSG meeting, or an Open House, or glitch in our system.....but I know one thing for sure.... I cannot wait to have my husband back here with us. Its going to be helpful to have him here, especially when the glitches come up.


My daughter is having a hard time starting her freshman year. She came home on Tuesday of last week, so depressed. It was scary, as I have never seen her like that before. I mean I know what she is like when she is sad, mad or frustrated, but this was different. She was lifeless, crying and could hardly talk. She looked a million miles away. She was like that for 3 days and we were all so worried about her. She and I talked, and it turns out that its a combination of starting school, worrying about things out of her control, friends and feeling lost. It was very hard for her to talk to me in the beginning, but I am glad she finally did. We have been emailing each other, while she stays with her dad. I have been reminding her that I am here for her no matter what, and that if all she needs is for me to just sit and listen, I will do that. I got to pick her up from school on Thursday, and I took her to get a milkshake. Ara and I are a lot alike in so many ways. I told her that I do understand how she is feeling and that I too worry about everything. I did tell her that as hard as it is sometimes....talking about it, getting it out of your head, helps a lot. I told her that her stepfather is the one person that I talk to about everything and how he always encourages me to talk, which ends up making me feel better, even if the problem doesn't get resolved right away. I told her that she can come to me any time....and I will listen and help her every single time. Friday she seemed better in spirits, I get to see her tonight and I can't wait to see her!

Okay, I'd better get started on this morning...I've finished my cup of coffee, there is no excuse now.......

Bon Appetit!

I just got back from a movie. I saw "Julie and Julia." I figured that if I wanted to see this, I'd better do it while my husband was away. I don't know if I'd be able to talk him into seeing this with me, after all he is going with me to see "New Moon," when it comes out...

I liked the movie, and walked away wanting to visit Julia Child's Kitchen at the Smithsonian. I have always wanted to cook, but never know/knew where to start. I have a few cookbooks, but they mostly just sit on the counter, and collect dust. I know the basics, but I would love nothing more than to prepare a meal, and have everyone eager to enjoy it. I love food. I think about food all the time. I wake up in the morning, thinking about what I am going to eat, for the day.

The past several weeks, however, I've completely changed the way that I eat. I have been staying away from fast and greasy foods, eating more fruits, vegetables and more importantly drinking a lot more water. Caffeine...that is my weakness. I used to drink a Soy Vanilla Latte almost daily, I looked forward to my morning Starbucks. I haven't really replaced it with anything better. I am completely addicted to the Pikes Roast Bold, and use it in a French Press, daily. I love it. I love the French Press, even though it isn't the healthiest of choices. With the change in diet, comes struggle. I struggle every single day, with my food choices. I want nothing more than to pig out on spaghetti, chips, ice cream and onion rings. I wonder, will it get easier? My husband is eating very healthy, while away. The two of us are hoping that we can be supportive ofone another, once he returns. I have found a few recipes that the kids like....but will my husband like them too?? We shall see. Anyway, watching the "Julie and Julia" movie made me want to desperately go out and buy "Mastering the Art of French Cooking." Being the low average cook that I am...I wonder if that is the "best" cookbook for me to be buying....What the heck, its worth browsing through at the bookstore at least!

Today was a pretty good day. I was in an unusually good mood today. I was really nice to everyone and there was no limit to my willingness to help any and everyone today. I am not a mean person, don't get me wrong, but I tend to keep to myself, and stay with what is familiar. I normally am not seeking out situations or people that are out of my normal routine. I work in a shared office. My co-worker has been out sick all week. She and I typically work with the overhead lights off, and use desk lamps and the natural light as our source of light. I thought that I'd try something different and work with the overhead lights on. It was amazing how much of a difference it made in my day (or so that is what I am believing) I had several people ask what was wrong with me and say things like, "Well normally its like a cave back here." or "Well its always dark back here." "Are you feeling ok?? You never have the light on." Maybe it did help, as much as I do enjoy sharing an office, it would be nice to be able to have it the way I wanted, whenever I wanted. My co-worker likes it ice cold and complains if its too hot. I don't like being cold, so we tend to disagree on the temp a lot! The use of the lights might be another thing we disagree on :) Oh well right, at least we have jobs and work environments!! I don't know how I got rambling about all this....

Okay, I am headed to bed, or at least to watch some re-runs of Roseanne and Three's Company.

Good Night!

For Kim.....

This is a much needed update. Oh what a day it has been! A week actually. Monday was Jeremy and my 1 year wedding anniversary. He isn't home right now...but my wonderful husband sent me a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. I ended up leaving work early, on Monday, so the flower arrived after I left. I got to enjoy them today. Every time I look at them I get so happy. My husband knows me well. He know that I enjoy flowers that aren't just the ordinary bouquet of roses. I love them. I took a couple pictures. I will try posting those later. I am using Ara's laptop right now.....just relaxing....while the kids are in the shower.

I myself, am feeling under the weather. I have been all weekend. I am guessing that if my throat is still hurting tomorrow, I'd better get it looked at. I've been getting dizzy all day today too, not a sign of getting better.

Yesterday was just a normal day, however my son is in full football practice swing. It means he has to practice every night from 6 to 8...it cuts into the night we do have. So the girls and I dropped him off, then headed to our favorite ice cream spot called, "The Scoop." We enjoyed homemade ice cream and sat outside talking about the day. I dropped Ara back off at home, and took Emma up to the practice field (which happens to be at her elementary school) I let Emma play on the swings, then showed her how to play hopscotch. I didn't mention, but before all that, I had to take Tolkien to the doctor's office for an earache he's had. It turns out he has swimmers ear. The doctor asked him if he did any swimming. He said, "I do, but its not like I do it all the time." I later had to explain to him that he didn't have to be an Olympic swimmer, to develop swimmers ear....that he very well could have gotten it from that one time he went swimming last weekend. The doctor prescribed him some antibiotic drops....

So Emma and I waited for Tolkien to get done with practice, then brought him home. It was time for bed, pretty much at that point. I had enough time to throw in a load of laundry.

That brings us to today....Tolkien's football practice...Then Emma had her 1st grade open house. She got to meet her 1st grade teacher and drop off her school supplies. She ended up going home with her father, because Ara and Tolkien have their orientations for school tomorrow morning....

Tolkien goes to 7th grade orientation tomorrow...he has to "wake up at the butt crack of dawn" as he puts it...and be there at 7:45. Ara has hers tomorrow too. In fact, I went to the 9th grade parent orientation tonight....let me say this, I walked away feeling like I have to start high school tomorrow. It is insane! I have never been that involved in the kids school. When I say that I mean, that I have never been one to volunteer more than I absolutely needed too. I have promise Ara that I will be actively involved this year. I already signed up to help with the freshman welcoming party on 9/9. And will already signed up to be part of the band parent meetings.....I think that I am going to sign up for the PTSG meetings also. I heard that its a good way to find out all of the things that will be going on in the school. Jeremy has also told me that he will GLADLY help out in all these things too. We want to be more involved. We want to meet the kids that will be interacting with ours. It will all be new to us...but we are willing to take on the challenge.

I am finding that the more things I have going on, the better I function. Anyhow...I need to end this now, as I have to get to bed...its going to be a long day tomorrow........

Hopefully I will do a better job on keeping the blog up too!


Good Night.....
Monique

An Update....

Its been a long time since I've written on this blog. I figured I would update it. I was pretty good about checking this site everyday, but I kind have been letting it simmer on the back burner. I've been really busy with work, kids, and summer. Its been so hot, that the kids and I try to get out and do things, outdoors. We like to go to Cannon Park, which is like 5 blocks from our house. We also like to go up to this icecream place called "The Scoop." Thier icecream is made right there, and everytime we go in, they have different flavors available. Its never the same thing. I like it, the kids like it too.

My husband is still overseas...we are on the down hill though, and have only a couple more months to go. While everyone is wishing summer would stay, my family and I are happy that its almost over. We miss Jeremy so much, and life will be even better, when he comes home.

My son and I are home together right now. Ara is at camp, Emma is with her dad's side of the family. Tolkien is playing "Madden" on the 360, and he is getting angry with the game. He is reminding me a lot of Jeremy.....He hates hearing me say things like, "calm down its just a game." Yeah, that only makes it worse....

Life's been busy. The yardwork is my least favorite chore right now. It makes doing the dishes, seem like a dream...

Well, while this was a short update, I am going to wrap this up. I have some things I need to finish, before I go to bed.

Happy B-day

We celebrated Emma's 6th Birthday, last Wednesday. We decided to take the family to Triple Play. Its an indoor water park, that is in Hayden Idaho. They have a Holiday Inn connected to the water park. We stayed the night, thinking it would be easier to just do the water play, then come back to the hotel and sleep. It all worked out well. Emma was very cautious the first day. It was interesting to me, because she has never had a fear of the water in the past. We bought water wings for her and that helped make her feel a little better. For the first few hours all she wanted to do, was hang out in the hot tub. Ara and Tolkien played on the big water slides, and Emma tried her best to coax them into the hot tub. By the end of the second day, Emma was playing on the little water slides, and the wave pool. However, anytime I would even look at the deep end, she'd say, "No, no! Don't go over there!"

We let Emma open her presents in the hotel room. I didn't pack any clothes for her, because I knew some of her presents were, new clothes. I didn't even think of packing SOMETHING for her to be in while she opened presents! She had to stay wrapped up in a towel, while opening gifts. She got a lot of things she wanted, and was very happy to be staying the night in the hotel!

I will wrap this up now, as Ara needs me.

14-Year's Later

My oldest daughter Ara..will be celebrating her 14th Birthday on May 13th. I am sure she is tired of hearing my say the same thing over and over...."Oh Ara, I remember when you were just a baby." Even if she is sick of hearing it, I would never really know, she's taking all my reminiscing and rambling very well. The other day I was telling her the story about the day she was born. I had Ara the day before Mother's Day. I told her that my very first Mother's Day, was spent in the hospital. It was a very busy day. Not only were people coming to see her, but they were coming to wish me, a very special mother's day. I still have all the cards that I received that day. I am sure I will be pulling out her baby book (as she is the only one I kept close tabs on) and showing it to her. Ara is such an amazing daughter, friend and artist.



Ara will be in the 9th grade next year. It is so weird to think about. I remember when I was a stay at home mother, and I would take her to preschool everyday, and volunteer, in her classroom. She loved it. Her first day of Kindergarten, she was so scared. She was used to having me with her all day. At that point, she had never experienced daycare, or anything like that. I remember telling her that I would be right back. She looked at me and said, "Mommy please don't leave me here." I was so sad to leave her. That same day (1st day remember) I got a call from the school. They told me that Ara had an "accident." They told me that she went to the bathroom, and in a hurry to get her pants off, plus throw cheerios in the toilet, she wet her pants. The teacher had explained how the boys, needed to put a few cheerios in the toilet, aim, and pee. Well Ara thought she too, had to put them in the toilet. I went to the school, and found her in the office, embarrassed and scared. That same year, I bought her a headband with kitty ears attached. Ara loved cats. She thought she was a cat. She wanted to eat cat food, and even tried to convince me to buy a litter box for her. I got the cat ears, because I thought it would be fun for her to wear them, for dress up play. She fell in love with the kitty eared headband. She wore them every single day, until the end of her 5th grade year. It even got to the point, where she wore a tail attached to the back of her pants. She took school pictures with the ears, and ended up with quite the collection. Seeing Ara's individuality at such a young age, was amazing. I have always encouraged her to express herself, even if it means being different than her peers, or going against the grain.



I am always telling Ara that she is my hero. She laughs whenever I tell her this, and tells me I am funny. I told her that I know how hard it is to stick to what you believe in, especially when everyone around you is doing things that are harmful to themselves. I told her that she is very strong, for not giving in to this peer pressure. The worrying, never ends, when you are a parent. The worries become different, the older and more different you child gets. Ara tells me stories about kids she goes to school with that smoke, drink, have sex. Its not like I don't know that is going on, but I trust Ara, and I trust her to make the best decision possible. She told me the other day that one of her teachers asked the classroom to raise their hand, if their mother was less 16, or younger, when they had them. Ara told me she was the only one to raise her hand. She told me that everyone looked at her, and she felt like she stood out for hours and hours. She started asking me questions about all of that. I know Ara is no fool, so I was as truthful as I could be, without being to detailed...I told her about being very young, when I met her dad. I was 14, when I met him. I told her how I never listened to my "gut" feelings, and ignored any red flags. I always struggled with making the right choices. I never talked to my mother about anything, and even if I thought about talking to her, I was honestly to scared to. I told Ara that I never, ever want her to feel that way. I can only hope that she will continue to be open with me.



Ara and I have plans to go to The Sasquatch Festival. We've had the tickets for over a month, and we are real excited to see the "Yeah Yeah Yeahs." We will be driving to the concert together, and it will just be the two of us. We are both really looking forward to it. We will take and post a lot of pictures.



I am going to switch gears, a little bit, and tell you, that Mother's Day, was the best. Ara, Tolkien and Emma made me feel like the most important mother in the world. It was unbelievable. They were so sweet! They made me breakfast in bed, did all the chores around the house, watched what I wanted to watch on T.V. We even made it to the park. Emma gave me a plant, cake and beautiful card. We had so much fun, it would have been really great, if Jeremy could have been with us. I know that he would have liked nothing more, to be with us...We miss him so much, so much...



I will end this with a picture Ara drew..... She loves Eddie, from Iron Maiden.

5 Things....

5 Things I was doing ten years ago



1. Working at Papa Murphy's Take and Bake
2. Raising only 2 kids
3. Driving a new car
4. Hosting dinners for friends on a weekly basis!
5. Taking care of a real garden, in our backyard.



5 Things on my "to do" list today...



1. Cleaning my house
2. Doing Laundry (I guess that falls into cleaning house)
3. Sending out Mother's Day Gifts.
4. Cook dinner for my family
5. Give Emma a bath


5 Snacks I enjoy...



1. Apples
2. Bagels
3. Chips and Salsa
4. Rice cakes
5. Grapes



5 things I'd do if I were a millionaire...

1. Pay our bills off!
2. Buy new homes for my mother and mother-in-law.
3. Send the kids to college
4. Have some more kids
5. Travel with my husband

5 Places I've lived...
1. Riverside CA
2. South Hill, Spokane
3. Spokane Valley
4. Spokane Valley
5. Spokane Valley (I am well traveled!)

5 Jobs I've had...
1. Child Care Provider
2. Assistant Manager, for Roxy Pizza!
3. Assembler, for Telect
4. Tutor
5. Administrative Assistant

Its Tuesday night. Something in today, struck me wrong today. We are entitled to have bad days..everyone has bad days right? The past few weeks have felt unreal. I feel like I've been having the same dream over and over, and cliche as it may sound...I am waiting to wake up. It feels like I am only an observer, in someone else's life. I haven't had a panic attack in a couple months, but had one today. Maybe I am just feeling, the after effect of it now. I was sitting at my desk, and became suddenly overwhelmed with panic. The ringing that is constantly in my ears, grew louder and louder. I got that all to familiar lump in my throat, and just sat there, waiting to ride it out. At that point there was nothing I could do, but ride it out. I've kind of gotten used to the constant noise that is inside my head. Its always busy, loud, and if I pay attention to it...it is really too much to handle. I miss my husband, and I miss having that one person that I can talk to about anything. I sit here and think, I can't believe that he is really gone, and its only been a few weeks. I don't like this feeling, and sometimes I feel like I can't possibly handle his coming and going, for the rest of his career. I know I must sound really selfish to some, but I can't help it. I can't help the way I feel. I've always been in relationships, where I was treated like crap. I know I had my part in those relationships, and I am positive I had a lot to do with the ups and downs of them. Sometimes it feels so unfair to finally have this person in my life, that I love so much and loves me so much, and treats me so well....yet I only get to spend so much time with him, all of which feels very limited. I don't know how other wives of the military do this. I feel very alone in this all, and don't have anyone that I can relate to. I've never known anyone that had to deal with their spouse constantly coming and going. There is no one to talk to. I want to be able to go out and do things to get my mind off of my husband's absence, but I am only truly distracted when I am at work. I find that when I am at home, I am surrounded by everything, that reminds me of him. The kids and I don't want to stray too much from our normal routine. Its mostly me, and I don't know if its normal to do this, or not. I don't want my husband coming back home, and feeling like we've moved on, without him. I don't know if I am being realistic, or if trying to make this happen is something that's damaging and impossible. The days last forever...and I am always waiting for the day to end, so that I can go to sleep and start another long day. I've had a ton of people tell me that I need to do this, or I need to do that. I know one thing for sure...we all get along in different ways, and what is good for this or that person, may not be good for me. I have to find my own way to cope with this, because I am sure this is not the last time, we will be faced with deployment. Often times, I just want to be alone, or with my kids. I don't feel like going out, I don't really feel like seeing anyone. Getting together for anything social (outside of hanging out with my kids and work) is almost torture for me. Its too difficult to try and pretend. Its too hard to seem happy and present in those situations. I guess this my way of processing this situation. Having to be strong for everyone that I am around, having to be strong for my husband's sake, is so hard. I can only believe that eventually I will get stronger, and I will be able to start enjoying everything I once did before...until then...

R.I.P....Teddy Carlo Saldivar Brown.....

Ara and Tolkien lost their beloved dog, Teddy. He was a long-haired, miniature, Chihuahua. It was such a horrible night for them. Teddy was put to rest on March 23. I was at home, when Thorin called me. He immediately sounded upset, over the phone. Thorin told me that he and Rachel (the kids step-mom) were coming to the house, to break the news to them. Thorin then went into the story of what had happened to Teddy....
Thorin said he came home like usual, and let Teddy outside to go pee. He walked over the shed, to get some tools to do some yard work. He heard Teddy barking, growling, then went over to see what was going on. Apparently the neighbors dog dug under the fence, and came into Thorin's yard, and started to attack Teddy. Thorin said the other dog is a "mutt" but much bigger than Teddy. Teddy is pretty small. Our dog Reci, and our cat, Kat, are bigger than Teddy. Thorin ran over to rescue Teddy. The mutt had Teddy's neck in his mouth. Thorin tried to break them apart, but the mutt would not let go. He told me he had to literally punch the mutt in the head, so the dog would release his grip. Thorin said he immediately picked Teddy up, and he was clearly bleeding a lot. He got in the car, and called his wife, telling her what had happened. He rushed Teddy to the vet, and any hope, was gone. The dog that attacked Teddy had broken Teddy's spine. They say that if they would have kept Teddy alive, he may have lasted a week, but would have had to breath with a tube, and would never be able to walk again. Its so tragic and heartbreaking. Teddy was in so much pain. Rachel told us that they gave Teddy pain medicine, and then had to make the decision, to put him to sleep. They were and still are devastated...
Thorin and Rachel came down to my house, to break the news to Ara and Tolkien. There is nothing worse, than seeing your kids so upset, so hurt, so frustrated, and so depressed. I have never had to see them go through this sort of loss, and it has been really, extremely hard for them. I wish that I could take all their pain and frustration away. Its such a helpless feeling, as a parent. I watched their faces as Thorin and Rachel told them what had happened. They immediately broke into tears, the most painful tears I have ever seen them shed. My son bowed his head down and kept sobbing, "No! No! No!" The kids sat for hours, crying over the loss of their beloved dog, Teddy.
Thorin and Rachel left the house, and apologized to me, for having to come down to the house with such horrible news. I went downstairs, to try and comfort the kids. Ara sat on her bed, with her head down and the tears were non-stop. Tolkien left Ara's room, ran into the family room, and buried himself under a blanket. He was curled in a ball, so hurt and so sad. I went back to check on Ara, and she was able to talk to me about it, and express, verbally, what she was feeling. We hugged one another and I assured her that with time, she would start feeling better. I tried to talk to Tolkien, but he is still taking all of this pretty hard. He would not speak to anyone. He locked himself in his room and would not let me in. I told him that if he wanted to talk, that I'd listen, and be there for him. Reci sat outside his bedroom door, the entire time he was self-locked in there. She wouldn't leave his side, so to speak. I encouraged the kids to sleep with me that night. I didn't want them to be alone. I wanted them to be able to find me easily, if they needed or wanted me. Later Ara blogged about Teddy. She told me that writing about it, made her feel somewhat better. She wrote a song for Teddy, looked at pictures of him, and self-medicated with a bag of Doritos. That night, the kids slept with me. We had a hard time falling asleep. Ara stayed in her own world, listening to music. Tolkien tossed and turned all night. He kept waking up and when he would wake up, he would sit up and start sobbing. I held him all night, and cried with him. He is absolutely crushed. The next morning, the kids were clearly exhausted. Ara reluctantly woke up, went downstairs and got ready. Tolkien made it to his room, crawled back in bed, and could hardly get dressed. He cried through the whole process of getting ready.
Now, don't get me all wrong. I am worried about Ara...but Tolkien is having a really hard time dealing with, and expressing himself. He has been walking around with a vacant look on his face. He is so mopey, he doesn't want to do anything. He does seem to do a little better, when he preoccupied with some activity, but I can tell that it is taking everything in him, to get through the day. Its worse at night, for sure. Naturally his mind has time to wander back to thoughts of Teddy, and how he died. Ara told me that she had a bit of trouble getting through the school day. She told me that she began crying in P.E. but was able to pull herself out of it. All I can do for them is listen, be supportive, offer my shoulder to cry on and try and keep them occupied. I will have them tonight, and tomorrow night, and Emma will be gone. I am going to take them out to dinner tonight, go to Hastings, and we will watch some TV, when we get home. I know that they have to go through the grieving process, but it doesn't make things any easier for them. Like I said, all you want to do as a parent is protect your children. You don't want to see them hurt and so upset. Yes, I understand again, that the loss of a pet, is a very normal part of growing up, and learning....but it is so very hard to see and be part of. I know it will get easier for them as time goes on. I know how much Teddy meant to them...I am so sorry, and wish there was something more, that I could do......I'll close for now with Ara's blog, about her dog Teddy.

He never deserved it. He didn't deserve it. It wasn't his time. They'll never be able to pay back for what they did to him. They'll never be able to apologize because we'll never forgive them.And their dog. The mutt. The stupid mutt. If he ever comes back again.My emotions - mixed with anger and misery and pain.It'll never cure...What they did to him. What they DID. I have a feeling of hate. HATE. Hatred. I don't think it'll ever go away.Revenge? I want it, but will I get it...perhaps not.He was like a little brother. He was like my best friend and more. He was my little Ted. I'll never forget him. I have to get out all of it and this is one of the only ways. I loved him so much. I cared for him so much. He was a part of our family. He was the greatest dog in the world.I can't stop crying for him. He's in a better place. He wasn't in pain too long but the suffering he had to go through for the small amount of it...He didn't need to go away that way. He didn't need to see the end that way. He didn't deserve it. He did not deserve it.I really, in my mind, am saying terrible things about that dog that killed him. Teddy was our dog.We've had him for about six years.He was a chihuahua.He wasn't just a chihuahua though.He wasn't yippy, he didn't bite...he was a lazy, chubby, caring lil' guy. He licked everthing even the air. He was the cult of personality, which is his themesong...thanks Living Colour.He was the cutest little dog in the entire world. He had a cute waddle to his walk. Yeah, he peed on lots of my clothes but I forgive him and that means he marked his territory on them!I'll always remember the rockin' little dude. He was the best. He was with me through lots of things, but he did NOT deserve this!My dad took Teddy out for his daily pee. My dad went to go check the shed, for some tools for later on yardwork. Teddy was not too far from him.He heard Teddy bark. Teddy's bark is not very fearsome, it's a small little bark...We hear him bark at the dog behind the other fence lots, so it wasn't a big deal.Then he heard the fence...The other MUTT had dug under it and come into our backyard. My dad heard Teddy squeal and barking and growling.He rushed over to the scene. Oh, he described it as terrible and bloody. He tried to pick up Teddy but the MUTT wouldn't let go...So he punched the dog in the face and grabbed Teddy. Teddy was bleeding, he cradled Teddy in his arms and screamed at the neighbors, saying how much they'd pay and things like that, he called Rachel (my stepmom) immediately.He rushed Teddy to the vet. As soon as he arrived they shot him with a pain reliever...soon they told my dad they couldn't do a thing.Teddy's last breaths were probably mixed emotions. I can't help to wonder what was going on in that little mind of his...his whole life...the misery of his old owners...the happiness of his time with us...?My dad and stepmom arrived at my mom's house and told us. I'm still crying. It feels like I'll never stop it, either.I want him back. There is no other dog in the world just like Teddy. He's his own little being, or, he was.He must be in a better place. He took the Stairway to Heaven, perhaps?Now he's with Candi, our other dog, and JD...and Yogurt(cat)...and Herbie...all having a good time reminiscing and eating bones...heh. The little guy always ate kibbles n' bones. Greenies, that is. He shouldn't have been taken away. He deserved a much longer life than that. I'm mad. I am extremely angry with the neighbors. They should've fixed that dang fence. They should've...ah. I'm mad. I want to scream. I HATE everything. I'll miss him. I'll miss him too much. We cared about him. He was like the baby of the family, along with our kit named Sage...We're getting a new dog, we already were when Teddy was still with us. But that one will NEVER replace Teddy. Teddy was the greatest dog anyone could ask for. All dogs have their ups and downs but Teddy only had ups. He never did anything wrong but pee! But that was just his instincts, if he had to go he had to go!He'll be with us forever, he won't go away everHe'll be in our hearts, he was from the startI'll miss him always and cry through my daysbut nothing will bring him backNothing will bring back the cult of personality, Teduardo the Sword Fighting Chihuahua. ...I don't know what else to do, or say, but cry more. Because he was the best. I'll miss that guy. I really will.Greatest dog...Teddy Carlo Saldivar Brown, Monday, March 23rd 2009...Rest in peace, Tedd!You were the CULT OF PERSONALITY!Remember...Live and Let Lick.